Gimp Manifesto – DH4: Dayton Hash House Harriers and Harriettes

Hare Trail Laying Guide

Version 3.69 (09/13/2021)

This is Dah Gimp’s attempt to help hares lay perfect trails. I know! I know! It’s often hard to achieve Gimp perfection, but we all must strive to do our best. Reading this guide will help you achieve those goals. And maybe, just maybe Gimp will even say a good word or two about you in circle… or you can just bribe him with craft beer. That works too!!!

Starting the Planning Process
1. Usually you need to plan the following basics before proceeding any further:
  1. Where to start? Adequate parking must be available
  2. Where to place BN / water stops? How are you going to reach those locations to place them?
  3. Where to end trail?
  4. Ensure distance is not exceedingly too short or long.
  5. Where to circle? A location that won’t draw unwanted attention.
2. After you have basics figured out then you can work on route planning and the many other things discussed in the following sections.
Hash Announcements
1. Give the mismanagement adequate time to post your announcement. They also have family and careers.
2. It’s a good idea to get a basic announcement out quickly as possible without necessarily providing all the details. It helps prepare everyone to plan their schedule accordingly. The hare-raiser will also get more sleep.
3. What to include:
  - Title of the hash: You’ll generate more interest if you have a title
  - Start Date/Time: If there are certain time constraints or the time is different than normal make sure everyone knows (make it bold and uppercase so hashers REALLY pay attention).
  - Location/Address: You can further describe specifically where at that address, here or below in the text. You can also add “See details below for specific location near address”.
  - Cost: Usually DH4 charges $8. Two dollars are used for skim… for future expenses like paying for your hash mug. If you want to charge more or less make sure you include the skim amount and the explanation why. Example: optional food costs, parking fees, special events, etc.
  - Description of the Hash
    - Shig level, Poison ivy, hills, tunnels, etc.
    - Water crossings
    - Distance
    - Trail type:
      - A-to-A: Trail starts and ends at the same location.
      - A-to-B: Trail ends at a remote location. Will you need to provide a car to load hashers gear for the B-location? Will you drive hashers back to the start?
    - Walker trail/maps provided
    - Bring money on trail for optional BNs or BNs in bars
    - Can kids attend?
    - Can dogs attend?
    - Special instructions
  - What to Bring (example list)
    - Hash mug
    - Change of clothing and shoes
    - Whistle
    - Towel
    - Swimming trunks
    - Lawn chair
    - Extra money
    - Bug spray/sunscreen
  - Circle location
  - On-After location
  - Hare contact information if anyone has any questions regarding trail
Start Days/Times
1. Days: DH4 hashes every other Saturday and Full moons. There are also special events like the Red Dress Run.
2. Times: DH4 Saturdays: Daylight savings time: 4 pm; otherwise 3 pm. Weeknights: 7 pm. It’s just a general guideline that everyone knows and expects.
3. If it’s not the normal dates and times, then make sure you get mismanagement approval.
Start Locations
1. Private Property: Almost every location we start trail is on private property. As a general rule: if there are signs prohibiting us from being there, then don’t use it to start the hash.
2. Multiple businesses: It’s best to choose a location where multiple businesses are located. Usually, there are no signs prohibiting the public and it’s less likely for someone in one of the leasing businesses to complain. As long as we are not interfering with any one business, then we should be good to start at that location.
  1. Single businesses (including churches): It’s risky to start a hash in a parking lot of a single business. It may be closed at the time of the hash, but owners oftentimes will check on their business. Lots of cars in a parking lot of a closed business will draw a lot of suspicion. It’s best for the hares to get prior permission before using their parking lot. Be considerate of bars and taverns. Hashers taking up all their parking spaces to go running for two hours while their customers have no place to park is not a good idea.
  2. Schools: Generally, try to avoid them. There have been times when people in the facility complain and kick us out of the parking lot. If the school adjoins a park, then it’s usually ok since other people use the school lot to visit the park.
3. Abandoned Property or out of business: If the property looks abandoned and has no private property signs, then it’s probably ok for hashers to park there. It also begs the question: Will the vehicles be vandalized while we are out running trail? Also be careful of buildings that are out of business, but still look to be maintained. Sometimes, a new business owner is just moving in and preparing/renovating the building.
4. Public Property
  1. Parks: Usually parks are a good place to start hashes. However, there are things to be considered. If the parking lot is small, it may be filled on hash day with other people. Don’t assume the parking lot will be empty. Baseball and soccer fields can be very busy on the weekends.
5. Alcohol: Of course about everywhere we start hashes alcohol is prohibited. Hashers are a very visible bunch. We don’t hide well. We are loud and wear colorful weird clothing. We attract a lot of attention. Of course we try to take precautions with plastic cups, but some areas are extremely sensitive. Bar and taverns could lose their liquor license if hashers are drinking in their parking lot. Just because the hares got permission to park there doesn’t mean they will tolerate us drinking in their lot.
Mark Visibility
1. Visible from a distance: Ensure all marks are visible from a distance. As a no-fail rule, if you are standing on a mark you should see the next mark ahead of you. It’s not always necessary on twisty curvy trails. Or in other cases such as checks or back-checks where you want to make trail a little more challenging to find. If you are trying to disguise the trail route, you obviously don’t want the FRBs (Front running bastards) seeing all four marks in a row when standing on a check. At the same time if the hashers are going in the right direction, then they should have no problem seeing the marks even while running. It’s a balance that’s not always easy to achieve.
2. Marks in Shiggy (woods/thickets): Laying trail through shiggy can be difficult since site lines can be very restrictive. What helps is as soon as you lay a mark look ahead to see where you should lay the following mark. If you can visibly see the next location to place the mark, the pack should also have no problems seeing the mark. The idea here is that if runners are going in the right direction, they should clearly see the marks on the ground or higher up on vertical surfaces such as trees or posts. Always lay more marks than what you think is necessary. It won’t hurt and it keeps the hashers going the right way.
3. It is sometimes difficult to see marks when combining vertical and horizontal surfaces. Hashers’ eyes are focused either on the ground or in the air. If you do mix marker locations make sure the pack can clearly see where you made the transition.
4. Size and visibility of marks is also important.
  1. Marks too small will not be seen by runners.
  2. Marks should contrast clearly on the surface. Placing white marks on white pavement is difficult to see.
  3. On smooth surfaces such as new asphalt or vertical surfaces such as trees or poles, don’t just throw the mark against the surface. It usually won’t stick. Press and rub the flour into the tree bark or step the flour into the ground. Windy days can easily blow marks away. If you rub in the mark it will probably stay on the surface longer.
5. Don’t place marks between vertical and horizontal surfaces, such as a pole and the ground. Do either/or but not in between. The flour is usually not seen unless you are standing directly over the small crevice where the flour is residing.
6. If the pack has problems finding marks they will spread out their search, thus increasing the chance they will go off trail and miss important places you want them to see. The pack is always the final judge and they will surely let you know if you poorly laid trail. If done right, you’ll never hear a peep of complaint…well they always complain but hopefully in a good way! Go on the side of caution and lay plenty of marks where you almost think it’s too easy.
Flour
1. Use white bleached flour for almost all situations. Bleached flour is actually fairly fluorescent at night.
2. Coloring Flour: On other occasions such as snow on the ground, forecast of snow, or if the streets are covered with a layer of white road salt, then it’s a good idea to mix in orange fluorescent marking chalk into the flour.
  1. Make sure you add a lot. You want the flour looking bright fluorescent orange. Not pastel orange. Pastel orange is almost invisible on top of snow. When mixing make sure you get the chalk down into the bottom of the bag. Sometimes it’s easier to fill your hash bag halfway with flour, mix in chalk until it’s the right color, add the other half of flour, and then mix in more chalk. Sprinkle a test mark on the snow to make sure it’s bright enough. Even when it snows the bright orange dye will soak into the new fallen snow…well for a short time until it’s completely covered.
  2. When laying marks on top of the snow don’t throw marks hard and deep into the snow like you would do on pavement. Instead just sprinkle and spread a large amount on top of the snow in a wide area.
3. Nowadays orange fluorescent chalk is sold at your local hardware stores in little yellow bottles (Irwin Strait-Line High Visibility Marking Chalk). There are other colors but these colors are generally too dark to see including red, especially at night and on black asphalt. Be very mindful of the permanency of the chalk. Irwin has five different ratings. It will be marked on the bottle you buy:
  0 – Dust-off with a rag
  1 – One week
  2 – Two to three weeks
  3 – Two months
  4 – Forever
  Avoid 3 & 4 or a lot of people’s driveways and sidewalks will have permanent orange marks. We certainly don’t want irate private property owners calling us to complain! If you can plan ahead, it’s cheaper to buy marking chalk on-line. They also sell it in big jugs versus the small bottles at the hardware stores.
4. Extra Flour: On live trails always hide extra bags of flour along the trail route. You will probably need more flour than what you can carry. Sometimes, you won’t use all the flour hidden out in the woods. But it’s better to be safe than running up short. If you do have too much, go ahead and overfill your bag and purposely lay many big marks to remove the excess flour weight. It’s best to hide the extra flour bags past the BN. If the pack happens to catch up, they will first stop at the BN allowing you to refill your bag without being noticed.
5. Bad Marks: Every once in a while you will lay a bad mark. Sometimes you can get on our hands and knees and blow away the offending mark. This rarely works well if the mark is pressed firmly into the ground. If you can’t remove the offending mark, then just cross it out and use a lot of hare arrows. Drink for it later. It’s not that bad of a problem.
Toilet Paper: Works well in thick shiggy or on top of grassy areas where laying flour is not practical.
1. Be mindful when placing TP on tree branches. Hashers will sometimes brush against the branch potentially knocking the TP to the ground. The hashers from behind will then lose sight of trail. To prevent this, just don’t lay the TP on top of a branch. Wrap it around a few times. This will also help keep it in place during windy days.
2. When crossing grassy areas you can also tie the TP around a broken branch so it doesn’t blow away. If there are no dead branches around, then placing a small pile of flour on top of the TP will also help keep it in place.
Chalk or drywall
1. If you use chalk or drywall to mark trail, make sure the marks are extra thick and large. The marks are hardest to see from a distance. Small thin checks, asterisks, and arrows are not easily visible unless you’re standing right over them. Runners can easily go past them. They don’t show up well at all in the dark and are almost impossible to see in bad weather.
2. Try to make sure the surface is in stark contrast to the color of the chalk or drywall. It’s a good idea to lay a regular flour mark next to the chalk markings, since hashers’ gaze will go right to it. Flour in front of the first asterisk will let hashers know more asterisk marks will likely follow.
3. Don’t use chalk or drywall on any type of wet surface or if you know it’s going to rain. Actually, it’s pretty impossible to mark trail using chalk or drywall on wet surfaces. It just glides across the surface without leaving a mark. It also disappears very quickly in rain storms. Just use a lot more flour instead. It will stay visible longer.
4. Since chalk can be in many different colors, it’s hard for hashers to transition their eyes when the colors change. Hashers eyes are first focused on color, then shape. The importance of laying a white flour mark next to a different color chalk mark or just laying large chalk marks in general will keep the hashers on trail.
Marking Start of Trail
1. It’s a good idea for the hares leaving the parking lot to lay a lot of initial marks. This will help latecummers who missed seeing the hares and pack leave. Late cummers don’t have the added benefit of visually seeing the hares leaving the parking lot. They rely totally on the hash marks on the ground.
2. It is also a good idea for someone in the pack to draw a pack arrow indicating direction and the time the hares left, next to chalk talk. This will assist the late cummers find the initial direction of trail quickly, determine the hares’ lead time, and run like hell hoping the pack didn’t drink all the good stuff at the BN! The pack will of course make the late cummer drink at circle for all the extra help given!
Checks:
1. Too few checks: The trail is not a hash but a 5K training run. Everyone will be stretched out and not grouped together making for a boring hash trail.
2. Misplaced checks: Can cause unexpected consequences. Sometimes hashers will run a great distance from a false. If true-trail circles around too close to itself, then there is the danger of the hashers accidently finding the backside of trail. It only takes a few blows of a FRB’s (Front Running Bastards) whistle for the rest of the pack to follow, thus causing the whole pack to shortcut trail and potentially missing BNs. It might be best not to lay a check at all. Therefore, when planning trails don’t just focus on the route. Also preplan and think through where you lay checks. Try to get into the pack’s head. Think what the FRBs will do when running false trails. Will they go in areas you don’t want them to go? Trail marking can be equally important in the success of your trail.
3. No-Falses
  1. Checks can have no false trails. In some ways they act like a backcheck. The first mark found is true trail. It’s okay to lengthen the distance between the check and first mark, but don’t make it too long or the pack will fall way behind the FRBs.
  2. If you know that turnout will be exceedingly low or if the weather is going to be really bad, then one way to make trail easier for the pack is to lay no false trails. Any first mark the pack finds off a check is true trail. This helps the pack if they don’t have the benefit of numbers to find marks. Also good for bad weather situations when marks could be erased before the pack arrives. Any mark they find will tell them the direction to go. No false trails also worked well during Covid when there were staggered starts of small groups of hashers.
4. Private Property: Be wary of laying checks where false trails can lead into private property. In one case I took a false trail into a private farm and a pack of eight dogs chased me and one of them bit me.
5. Danger Areas: To protect the hashers’ health, don’t place checks near busy intersections. Hashers have a tendency to keep their head down looking for marks and not watch out for cars.
Back-checks: Back-checks (BC) indicate that runners should turn around and retrace their path while looking for true trail, which branched off somewhere before the BC.
1. First mark: Don’t hide your first mark exceedingly well or make the FRBs go great distances to find the first mark (30-second guideline…see section Best Practices below).
2. Distance Back: Be careful of the distance of the branch from the back-check. Don’t make the pack run a half-mile backwards from the back-check to find the first mark off to the side.
3. Too close to check: Don’t lay the first back-check mark too close to the check. This can cause the pack confusion. “Are the marks from the check or back-check?”
4. Numbered: Avoid using back-checks with a number indicator: Go so many marks backwards before looking for the first back-check mark (like BC-10). If any of the marks disappear or are not easily seen, then the pack will have a hard time finding the branch. It also makes it very difficult for latecummers, since the pack has already trampled all over the marks.
DD Marks (Don’t Die)
1. The mark is a good way to alert the pack that proceeding further without looking carefully can result in serious injury. It’s just not used at busy road crossings, but also areas where it is likely someone can have some very serious injuries. Falls do happen a lot. Note the many dirty butts after trail as proof.
2. Always use DDs and never Checks and Back-Checks in dangerous areas. You want the pack looking out for danger and not for marks.
YBFs: You’ve Been F***: Can either be marked as “YBF”, three parallel lines, or a hare arrow pointing backwards.
1. YBFs are a good way to keep the pack from going into areas where you don’t want them to be. It might be a safety issue, it might prevent them from going into private property, or if they continue on a long false they might shortcut trail, thus missing a BN, etc.
2. Avoid laying long YBFs since it will greatly spread out the pack. They also go against the guideline that marks should mimic a live trail. Laying long YBFs usually result in hare snares if actually laid live.
Circle-Jerks: Essentially marks a circle all the way around back to the check, one mark off the outside of the circle is true trail. Avoid using them, especially if it’s a large circle. It usually takes the pack forever to find trail, and when they do, the poor hashers on the other side of the circle won’t know which way to go. It usually ends up in disaster with the pack spread out everywhere.
BNs and BQs
1. If you hashed before you know what this is.
2. Location always has to be discreet. Better safe than sorry!
3. Water, water, water!!! Important always. If it’s hot just buy a gallon or fill up a jug. Whatever is not consumed can be used another time. It will never go bad, so don’t worry about getting too much.
4. Provide disposable cups. Hashers like to share and split drinks.
5. Orange Food: Not always necessary to provide food but it will slow the pack down. Hard to run on full stomachs! You will also have to consider the additional trash generated when providing snacks.
6. Types of beers. I personally mix in at least a few good beers. It’s kind of funny to see the disappointment on a hasher’s face when another hasher fishes out the last good beer out of the plastic bag.
7. “The Market” seems like a great place to find craft beer on discount!
8. Remember to go back and pick up the trash. Don’t pollute!
9. Trail markings near BNs and BQs:
  1. Do not lay Checks or Back-Checks anywhere close to these locations. It only takes one front runner looking for marks off a check to accidentally stumble upon marks beyond the BN. The pack will follow the FRB’s whistle and miss out on the beer! Lay lots of hare arrows and spoon feed them into the BN.
  2. Make sure marks leading out of BN cannot be seen by hashers before reaching the BN. They will simply miss the BN and go straight toward the marks they do see.
  3. Do not lay the BN at locations where the pack can shortcut around it, say straight across a field instead of going around the corners where the BN is located.
Best Practices
1. 30-Second Guideline: As a general guideline a running pack should take less than thirty-seconds to find the true trail route off a Check and Back-Check. If you make it longer (too difficult to find), then the pack will spread too far out and the slower runners will be waiting impatiently. The pack likes to keep moving, especially in cold weather. Think about it, if the FRBs are running more than 30 seconds away from a check, it can be a very long distance. They may not hear the whistle or worse yet hit the backside of true trail, thus whistling the pack away in the wrong direction, missing BNs, etc. Don’t make it too challenging for the pack to find the direction they need to go. They are never happy about it.
2. Mimic live trails: If laying all or any part of the trail dead (pre-laying marks before the start of the hash), make sure it mimics what a trail would actually look like if it were live. Impossible long YBFs, Back-Checks, and falses in every direction on every Check will not make the trail enjoyable. It’s also obvious the hares would easily been caught. It seems fake and not real. Hashers like real, not fake… in almost everything.
3. Keep the pack together: The goal is to keep the pack as close together as possible. In this way they will all be together during picture checks, BNs, etc. The pack likes each other’s company. It’s the reason why they hash instead of going on runs by themselves. When laying trail keep that goal in mind. Making the trail too challenging will spread the pack out too far looking for marks. At the same time making trail too easy to find turns it into a race. It’s not easy to find a balance. You know you got it right when the pack arrives at the On-In mostly together. On live trails, the pack should arrive within ten-minutes after the hares write On-In. Anything longer usually indicates that the pack had trouble finding marks. This of course is a gauge and is not always the case since you might have special stops along the way that takes longer. Packs are social in nature and like each other’s company. They talk about things like what an awesome trail you laid, blah, blah, blah…
4. Trail Distance: Usually during the weekends it’s 3-5 miles. Weeknight hashes should be three-ish miles. You also have to take in consideration how hilly and thick the terrain is. The harder for the pack to traverse the terrain, the shorter the trail distance should be. The woods also darken more quickly. It might be necessary to move forward the hash start time so everyone can make it out of the woods safely before it gets too dark. It’s very difficult to find injured hashers in the dark.
5. KISS: Keep It Simple Stupid: Remember the hash is not about you. It’s not about trickery. It’s not about how good you feel when the pack can’t find your trail. No one will like you for it. Think of it this way: Your primary focus is providing the pack the best pleasurable experience possible, like HTS in a hot tub surrounded by floating boobs…envision his smiling face. That’s what you are aiming for!
Night trails or bad weather
1. First, always check the weather conditions on the day of your hash. Weather can change quickly in the Midwest.
2. Low visibility: Hares should double their marks (or lay them closer together which is really the same thing) during low visibility conditions. Be aware that some marks can disappear, driven over by cars/trains, blown away from high winds, swept away by an irate homeowner, etc. The marks that do remain can hopefully still be seen by hashers. It only takes one or two missing marks to screw up the pack and your well planned hash.
3. Rain: During rain or impending rain, try to lay marks on high vertical surfaces which helps prevent washout. Trees and polls work best. If there are no vertical surfaces available then sometimes you have to build a pyramid of flour so it doesn’t wash away easily. Try to think ahead as you lay marks on the ground. What would happen to the marks if it started raining?
4. Windy: On windy days find non-smooth surfaces. You can also smear the flour with your foot into the pavement which helps keep marks in place.
Trail Routes
1. Grassy Areas:
  1. Do not lay flour in the grass. It will never be visible. Instead lay TP.
  2. If possible lay a hare arrow before entering a large grassy area to cross. In this way if the TP gets blown away then the hashers will know which general direction to follow.
  3. When marking Checks in grassy areas TP and branches rarely work. Someone will probably kick the Check by accident and it won’t be a Check anymore. Instead kick your heels into the ground removing the grass and leaves until you see dirt. Then lay the flour on top of the dirt. The flour shows up very clearly as white on dark brown soil.
2. Parked Cars: Avoid laying trail near parked cars. Cars do move and sometimes will cover your marks including your Checks and Back-Checks. (Pssssst: this is also where HTS likes to run where it’s more likely he’ll find dropped coins on the ground. A good way to piss him off is to find more coins then him!)
3. Busy Streets: Do not endanger people’s lives by laying trail along busy high speed thoroughfares with no place to run safely. One trip and fall of a hasher and they’re dead.
4. Stream Crossings:
  1. Always have a Plan B when your trail route crosses a stream. During heavy rainfalls it may not be safe. The same goes for culverts under roads. If it’s iffy, check the water on the day of the event before attempting these potentially dangerous routes. Also, be wary of fast moving streams even if it is shallow. It can easily knock a hasher down and then they can drown downstream.
  2. Stay away from laying trail in long tunnels (flash floods or bad falls are the biggest concern). If there is a medical emergency and there are no easy access points then it’s going to be a bad situation.
5. Feats of Strength and Agility: Not everyone can hash in areas that require feats of strength and agility. Climbing over fences, squeezing through tough spots (most of us have beer bellies), climbing up steep hills, rappelling off cliffs with a rope, etc. Make sure everyone can overcome or bypass these obstacles (Turkey splits). Remember, if someone gets seriously hurt you might be liable.
Live Haring Techniques
1. Tandem Trail Laying
  1. From experience it is always best to have the front hare lay true trail including Checks and Back-Checks. It prevents confusion on who should lay marks. It also allows the trailing hares to verify the marks and to add additional marks when necessary. The trailing hare should think of themselves as a member of the pack trying to find trail. Many moons ago my co-hare and I made a terrible mistake when we did not follow this technique. We were both running one in front of another along a wooded park trail. We were supposed to lay a check, false straight, then lay true-trail directly into the woods on the left. Well unfortunately neither one of us laid the check, expecting the other one to do so. When the pack arrived they essentially just ran out of marks and had no idea where trail went even after searching in every conceivable direction. It took them forever to find the marks in the woods. They were understandably not happy! And we were very well hydrated after circle. If we just followed the simple rule, front hare always lays true trail including Checks, then this would never happen.
  2. Tandem trail laying is like Leapfrogging: Basically as above, the front hare lays all the trail. However, once the front hare lays a Check, the same hare will lay the falses from the Check until the trailing hare catches up. The trailing hare can then leapfrog ahead laying marks, and more importantly catch their breath. This continues on-on in a leap frog fashion.
2. Hare Splits
  1. During live trail laying the hares will sometimes split apart and lay parts of trail separately, then later come back together again. It works well for experienced hares and when coordination is practiced. It’s a good idea to have a map handy that shows the route, checks and other important markings. The hares can review and discuss prior to chalk talk to make sure there is no confusion about who is supposed to do what on trail.
  2. It’s strongly recommended no splits for virgin hares. Always make sure they are always within eyesight and yelling distance, since communication is a must. Remember virgin hares’ focus is totally on laying the marks. Giving them too much responsibility combined with the fear of getting caught spells trouble.
3. Total Trail Time Estimate: In calculating how long it will take for the pack to complete a hash use 10-minutes per kilometer plus eight or so minutes per BN. Add extra time for steep hills, shiggy, bad weather, hot weather, etc. The total time is usually a decent indicator.
Pre-lay
1. Due to covid many of us are laying more and more dead trail. As a general guideline, just be realistic like it was a live trail. Mile-long YBFs while laying trail from your car won’t make it enjoyable for the hashers. It does make sense while scouting trail to pre-lay pink or orange marking tape in particularly rough visible spots. It’s a good reminder for locating entry and exit points.
2. Tear the plastic streamers off the trees and stuff them into your pocket when laying the actual flour/TP trail, so you are not polluting the environment.
3. Since trail is laid before the start of trail, many things can occur that might result in loss of marks. Bad weather is the biggest culprit. To limit the risk try to pre-lay marks as close to the start time as possible. You can actually lay part of the trail live and parts of the trail pre-lay. If there is bad weather, then you may have to run with the pack so they don’t get too terribly lost. You can also post maps of the trail on-line, so they can look up the route when necessary.
Additional Hare Equipment:
1. Hare Bags: Don’t use cheap bags that can break. Use something that has strong material that can handle the weight. Waterproof is a plus!
2. Fag Bags
  1. Fag bags works well for holding TP. You can even pre-tear the TP to make it easier to grab and hang on tree branches.
  2. It’s also a good holder for small items like chalk and dry wall. Better yet it might keep your shorts from falling to your ankles due to all the additional weight in your pockets!
3. Well sealed large plastic containers to hold all your haring gear: Keeps flour from getting inside your vehicle. It can also keep bugs and mice from getting into it at home…it can be pretty gross so go to Walmart.
Hares’ Nightmares
1. Hare-Snares: Don’t be afraid of hare-snares. It happens all the time and the humiliation will only last a few minutes. However, if nightmares persist of Gimp chasing you, causing you lack of precious beauty sleep… or if you wake up in the middle of the night in a deep cold sweat, please get professional help! … or just pay off Gimp with snob beer to stay at the rear of the pack. It will be cheaper.
2. Flour Bags
  1. Don’t leave your flour bags unattended! Hashers will fill them full of rocks and empty beer cans, and then you’ll wonder too late into the trail why your bag is so damn heavy. Gimp is just a little bit sorry for starting that tradition.
  2. Don’t leave your flour bags outside in freezing weather. It’s literally like dipping your hands continually into a bag of ice. Keep your flour in your warm car as long as possible.
Bad-Bad Hares: On rare occasions hares can be just plain mean. Like laying marks in front of a sticker bush, run around the other side, then continue marking trail like it went straight through it. Hashers will fall for it every time and will go straight through it thinking it’s the direction the hares also went. The same can be said for hares laying marks across the stream at the deepest crossing point, when there are much easier crossings nearby. Poison Ivy and stinging nettles should also be avoided. Mean, mean, mean! Probably not a good idea to do any of these things. Suffering hashers will not give you style points, but maybe more down-downs.
Civilians (Non-hashers/General Public/Muggles): Many times when laying trail alarmed civilians will ask you what are you doing? Are you trying to poison my little dog!? Just tell them “I’m laying a trail of baking flour for a running group to follow. The flour is so they don’t get lost.” Most of the time they will believe this story and leave you alone. Unless, you are haring in West Hamilton sporting a handlebar mustache, then the police will be after you! But whatever you do don’t mention the word hashing (drugs), beer, or half nakid people trying to get drunk. Just tell them it’s for a fun run for people trying to stay fit. Avoid giving away the name of the hash group, since someone might use it to complain. Basically, you are telling the truth without the gory details. It’s quick to the point. It will allow you to continue on your merry hare-ing way without worrying about being placed in the back of a police car while they sort out the Karen poison dog theory.
Certification: Congratulations!!! You have successfully reached the end and completed the mandatory hare training! After reciting the manifesto verbatim to Dah Gimp he will proudly present you the highly prestigious “Hare Wanker Certificate”. Many of the pack will honor you and bow in the mere presence of your-wankerness. It’s a proud glorious day for us all!!!
Disclaimer
1. Dah Gimp takes full responsibility in assigning the blame.
2. See Section 26.1